Disciples Of Dance at a Discotheque

TTTTT - In an alphabetical coincidence, a legally registered alien from Mars, in renewing his green card got drunk and wandered into an Aggie Bar. In the bar was a Discotheque, and in the Discotheque was a Bibliotheque. In the middle of the Bibliotheque, fulfilling the reflexive case and making upon one third of a profound book catalog of it's own was a French book called a Biblios. This lends credence to the theory that Tocqueville was a theist; not only was Tocqueville French, but this biblios claimed to have all manner of testable information about the "THE" - pronounced th-eee, and alluding to the repetitive use of the first person singular pronoun in the King James Bible passage Exodus 3:14. I'll leave future study up to you, simply noting 2 things: 1. The passage makes specific use of the definite article, and 2. I am not a Wiki-only 5t - I have exhaustively searched the Wiki's as a group, and found no reference to the link: http://sleuth17.blogspot.com/. This link seems to studiously avoid the argument brought publicly by Bill Maher, namely that animals (with few exceptions such as Dolphins, Minas, Parrots, Crows and an ape named Kiko,) don't speak or communicate at all. He covered his ass studiously, by dealing strictly in specifics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fliFcvGAKk Q: It couldn’t possibly have been Adam and Eve, 5000 years ago with a talking snake in a garden, could it? Fortunately the Senator in question took his refuge in the wisdom of the masses, and embarrassed himself no more than your average Sunday driver. I use the specific link in question because it is likely that the author of THAT Blog is himself talking snake theist; every other article is a gaff. To return to pertinent discussion, it should be simple enough to bring matters to a head: There are a variety of dating methods, and there is an Evolutionary Timeline. Sacrifice ONE of our Ancient treasures as a pilot: Slice it into as many slices as there are dating methods. Date each slice over its entire continuum, such that the range established for each method reflects some likely frame of reference for its formation, and figure out which dating method is appropriate for THAT fossil. Use THAT method to decide exactly how much of the relevant Radio-active isotope has ever been on earth for each individual method, and use that number for all future implementations of that method. Determine if the relevant fossil is a sedimentary fossil or a volcanic fossil. Use the dating methods as a group to determine if the volcanic rock re-starts the timer every time it is melted down, and keep that aside for future reference. Next, verify the value of each dating method in a University setting, just like Newton's Laws, such that all back-room fossils in every Museum in the country can be brought out and dated as a group. This should be enough data to clarify all Timeline inconsistencies, and the Smithsonian Institute in Washington D.C. can finally join the rest of the country once again in deserving the prestige that is due all ground-breaking researchers and clear their own backlog. Finally determine how to choose which dating method is appropriate to every given class of fossils. Document these things, and any inconsistencies in the Talking Snake Creationist point of view will bury them under a humiliating pile of paradoxes and self contradictions. This once I'll branch out on things that cannot be verified on "teh interweb," and specify what exactly these progeny of Don Quixote and Pollyanna believe. They actually think that:
1. Anyone can devise a paradoxical "god," that cannot exist. The existence of paradox does not mean there is no God.
2. Anyone who says "There is no God," comes readymade a fool, and the only atheists capable of learning are those who will demonstrate their sack by stating "There Cannot Be God."
3. The Universe is all there is in absence of a Creator, and as such is subject to Newton's second Law of Thermodynamics. Localized order accounts for all evolution, and alien species probably have their own Christ type representative, collectively a priesthood after the order of Melchizidec. This points up clearly that they in fact believe that the “Trinity,” of Father, Jehovah, and Holy Spirit are NOT all there is. Unfortunately the only way to bring them to docket in this contradiction is an exhaustive search of the Universe proving that at least one alien species is a) Capable of spiritual death, making them different from Cows and Sheep which cannot sin and do not need a savior, and b) Has at least one member of the species that has sinned and is therefore in need of eternal salvation. Under these conditions, the need for another Christ-figure would prove conclusively that Christ could not have died for them as well, and that there must therefore OF NECESSITY be a fourth member of the Godhead.
4. That all existing Gods have in fact contacted their creations, and made themselves available for consultation in dictated volumes of collected self consistent literature, dutifully copied down by administrative assistants such that all subsequent copiers ("scribes" in the relevant documentation,) have accomplished a better job of propagating copies without error than all other historical books.
5. That the God of the King James translated Bible can be contacted by telepathy, and as such can be thanked and petitioned for help.
6. That this God also obeys his owns laws so slavishly that natural law cannot be controverted, and the sole exceptions are his own doing, the preponderance of the suspensions of natural law being recorded or alluded to by same documentation.
7. The genealogical listing of all mankind from Adam to Jesus (14 generations with King David conspicuously in numerological the middle,) gives enough information from Adam and Eve's first date until the date of Christ (the beginning of the COMMON Era,) to calculate the history of recorded Chinese literature. From this supposed certainty, they launch out with numbers like 7000 years etc. They claim to be so certain because the ages of each recorded father are noted at the time of the birth of the relevant son. Together with the ages of their deaths and noted lifespans they combine these for a theory that they themselves agree is only as testable as Newton’s Second Law of Thermodynamics.
8. They claim that this non-super God (who cannot lie or be tempted with evil,) cannot make a rock so big he cannot lift it, and as such is a superior personage with whom to execute "right to contract" than the Devil.
9. They attempt to explain the entire fossil record with stories of a world wide immersion flood, such as they self-consistently observe to be told in all cultures, and predict such things as a) fossils wills be found in groups where rising water herded the animals in question and b) the sea life fossils at the tops of mountains points to the truth of their suppositions. In fact, they regard Indian Arrowheads to be a more scarce resource than fossils.
10. Having made all these preposterous conclusions, it is not surprising that they are prepared to call an allegorical snake that led EVE to BELIEVE something, was in fact a "TALKING snake," giving Mr. Maher basis for his Genesis 3 based question.
While this list is not exhaustive, it should be sufficient for private evaluation, leaving only the mathematically trivial task of documenting the humility of a student, going to Church and verifying the veracity of my story. For his own part, the Religious Evolutionist understands the futility of arguing, and fears only that a Talking Snake advocate will come forward and so badly embarrass himself that all believers in gods of any kind will be humiliated and denied access to the PhD process, cutting them out of future scientific debate altogether. The act of defending someone else's argument so badly that it catches one's pants on fire is called "Straw Man Defense," and the straw man is expected to burn quickly down to nothing.
In closing, I need to enumerate the other two thirds of the profound book catalog. Having cited a French Bible, there was also a French dictionary, and a concordance of the Bible (a reference work that has only recently come to popularity as a method for data-mining a Tome - the Bible has simply had one for longer as an experiment.) It is probably best to note before taking my leave of you that a dictionary itself is subject to paradox. If you KNOW a language, you don't need it, and if you DON'T KNOW a language, then you can't even read it. All subsequent theories of completeness and redundancy are themselves redundant. Long live the bureaucratic triplicate!